Self-Made Man

Saw one on the street today. At first there was nothing there, but then, in a burst of light and a puff of smoke formed a baby. It was levitating there above the sidewalk, its flabby little limbs dancing side to side like blades of grass in the wind. In no time at all it grew larger than even myself, its legs stretching out towards the concrete, steadying itself, and balancing there on its man-sized-feet. Then its arms began to grow. The whole thing unfurled itself with tremendous willpower. In less than thirty minutes a plot of particles which was previously nothing more than air had made itself into a thirty-five-year-old man with a very profitable stock portfolio. It’s moments like that which remind me how fortunate I am to live in the United States of America.

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