Flexibility of Feeling

How can one stay angry indefinitely? I don’t think it’s possible. I don’t think it’s possible to sustain any emotion or feeling forever. To maintain certain feelings requires a constant reinforcement of thought. And such reinforcement must come from external stimulation. That isn’t to say one can’t decide upon a stance internally, and then perpetuate it indefinitely, they can, but they will need to create external reminders of that stance in the form of writings or recordings.

Feelings and thoughts are a lot like flames, set off by collisions, sparked into existence, and then quickly extinguished by wind or water or dirt or anything else. To keep one going you need to constantly stoke it, and that’s a difficult thing to do when all the other fires in your head are already being tended to by the rest of the world. The motivation to maintain small thoughts or ideas is slim, and the big ideas are already being sustained by society, constantly getting bounced back into your brain. This means that when we have something stuck in our heads, something that just won’t go away, there is something out there in the world making sure it won’t go away, an external ally.

If you wake up and feel sad, every day of the week, for months and months, something is keeping you sad. Sadness was not meant to be a statue, standing tall against all odds, sadness should be like sand, falling away between our fingers. So what then is out there in the world, dedicated to depression and despair? What force maintains our painful feelings? What organization of malcontents is propagandizing us into such a sorrowful state? I feel as though I must find out who or what they are, but I worry, I worry that this urge to discover them will be snuffed out before I can.

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